personal growth | Sacred Strawberry

I have been feeling really bad physically.  On one level, I have been feeling the remnants of the flu I had- just sort of low grade symptoms- headache, sore throat, tiredness, etc.  And then on another level I have been feeling really unhealthy in other ways- I feel so overweight and out of shape.  I also feel like I have been holding on to my baby body.  I guess being pregnant and giving birth and now mothering Amethyst has meant such a significant change in my life- how I live my day-to-day, who I fundamentally am as a person, what my priorities are that I just haven’t been able to let go of this belly.  But I feel like by shedding this extra weight I can return into myself a little.  In the yogic tradition, a new baby and mother share an aura for 40 days after the birth of the baby.  During this time, baby and mama are still connected as fundamentally as when baby was still in the womb- just that this connection is more energetic in nature.  Doing this cleanse has felt a little like I am taking some power back into my body.  As I am still (somewhat) breastfeeding my daughter, I decided to do a really light version of a cleanse.  Juicing and smoothies all day and then one meal and a light snack.


Wild green kuice- cleaver, apple, chickweed, lime

Smoothie-frozen blueberries, mango, kale, coconut water, vitamineral green, sunwarrior protein powder, cashews, dates

Green juice- cucumber, apple, celery, fennel, ginger, kale stalks, lemons, limes

Smoothie- blueberry, mango, sunwarrior, avocado, dates, vitamineral green, pine pollen

Green juice- more of earlier green juice

Snack- some Hail Merry chocolate tarts- mint and almond butter flavors, shared with my Dad and hubby.  Also some little chococherry energy bite things from Hawaii.

meal- cucumber, shredded carrot, celery, lettuce, quinoa, roasted potato and beet in a raw Chipotle-Sunflower Cream Sauce.

The sauce was awesome on this really hearty and filling yet light (if that totally contradictory description makes sense to anyone but me!) salad.

Chipotle-Sunflower Cream Sauce

3/4 cup hulled sunflower seeds, soaked 4 hours

juice of 2 lemon

pinch salt

2 date, soaked

1 dried chipotle pepper, soaked

1/4-1/2 c spring water, if needed

Add everything to blender and blend until smooth.  Makes 1 to 1 1/2 cups dressing.

Sunday was similar foodwise-

smoothie- blueberries, Sunwarrior, dates, rainbow chard and ice

smoothie- more blubes, Sunwarrior, cashews, dates, vitamineral green and cacao powder

juice- carrot, apple, celery, beet, cilantro

snack- Bearded Bros. Maca chocolate energy bar shared with hubby while having almond milk au laits at Rhino Coffee

juice- more of above root juice

meal- kelp noodles with spinach, grated carrots, pickles and Chipotle-Sunflower Cream Sauce

Also yesterday the hubby and I went to a sound healing session.  The woman used Tibetan singing bowls and a gong.  This was the first thing remotely like this that we have done since moving to Shreveport.  I fell asleep briefly during the session but have not been so relaxed in a reaaaaaaally long time.  I think it also helped shift me into a more positive headspace as well.  Dan enjoyed it as well and Amethyst was FINE with her grandparents while we were gone 🙂  Also, we were able to introduce ourselves to a few people and saw some other interesting looking people near to our age.  So, it at least gave us some hope for creating a nice life for ourselves during our time in Shreveport even if it is only temporary.

Today was also similar-

Green smoothie made by hubby but had mixed frozen fruits, spinach and pine pollen

Green juice- cucumber, apple, celery, cilantro, lemon, grapefruit

Wild greens- Cleaver and chickweed, grapefruit, lemon juice makings:



meal- Blue corn tacos with black beans, daiya vegan cheese, spinach and beet greens, grated carrot, guacamole, chickweed-cilantro pesto, and tomatillo salsa.  OMG so delicious were these!

Chickweed-Cilantro Pesto

1/2 cup chickweed

1/2 cup cilantro

1/4 cup pine nuts

pinch salt

juice of 1/2 lemon

splash of good olive oil

Throw everything into food processor and pulse into slightly chunky paste.

I’ve really made some changes in my life recently that I am happy about.

Two new classes fell into my lap and, I LOVE these students.  They are Kundalini Yoga teachers and so we talk about KY, do kriyas in English, drink chai tea or talk about our lives.  I am so grateful for the extra money and the companionship.  Also, being around these women gave me the extra push I needed to..

Finally join a Kundalini yoga class again.  I’m going Monday and Wednesday and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!  My body has been neglected for so long that the past few weeks I was in so much pain the day after classes.  Each class a new muscle group would hurt.  With each week, I am getting a little stronger and I know that my body is loving all the extra care and attention it is getting.  Also, having a special place for meditation is nice.

I’ve been a bit more social.  I’ve reconnected with a friend that just kind of fell away a while back and am trying to get out of myself more.  It helps not having long stretches of morning with nothing to do, except  have temptation to stay on the Internet for hours at a time.

Anyway, with all of these changes, I have decided that it is a great time to return to raw foods.  My diet has been pretty good recently.  I’ve let go of the wheat for the most part, eating lots of wild greens, having green juices, etc., but there is always a bit more tweaking to do.  The sugar beast has come again and I really want to deal with that.  I had quit coffee for a few days but it just creeped back in.  One thing at a time.  Also,  now it is Spring and the weather is warm and my body is feeling a strong need for salads and lighter, more easily digestible things.  I want to listen to and honor that.

So, as a way to help myself and to share my way of being, I am going to post what I eat.  It may not be 100% raw, but i am striving for a high proportion.

I am the kind of person who has a tendency to be very much in my head.  I overanalyze things, dwell on the negative, and can always think of a worst-case scenario.  This tendency has no doubt contributed to a lot of the depression and apathy that has marked much of my life until very recently.

This morning, a lot of those old patterns began to surface and I could feel myself getting stressed, anxious and angry.  Thankfully, I have built up a little tool kit of coping mechanisms.  The one I want to share with you today seems ridiculously simply, but is actually quite profound.

Periodically, especially when I start to dwell on negative things or what is missing in my life, I like to make a list of the positives in my life- the things that I am grateful for.

Today, it looked like this:

1. I am grateful for the changes that have taken place in my life in terms of diet, spirituality and my relationship with myself.

2. I am grateful that Dan is on board for all of it.

3. I am grateful for the long walk we took this morning and the happy look on Tater´s face as she was exploring the tunnels.

4. I am grateful for the sunny day and the promise of spring

5. I am grateful for the raw ice cream sundae with vanilla cashew ice cream, cacao nibs, hemp seeds, goji berries, almond butter, strawberries      and bee pollen.

6. I am grateful for friends who push me until I actually come through.

By number 2 or 3, I could tangibly feel my mood lifting.

So, try it- honestly, you´ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain!